A different kind of Christmas

Here is a picture I thought I would never be able to see. A laughing, smiling baby on Christmas morning surrounded by gifts, in a "my first Christmas" onesie. So very different from the last couple of years, when all I had was a picture of Alexandra's grave or some random ornaments of hers on the tree. I feel so very lucky to have been able to share his first Christmas with him. It was a different kind of Christmas. It was the kind that should have been for the last two years. This year, I was the one who had the cute baby to pass around and ooh and ahh over. I almost looked like a "normal" Mom. But there was still an empty chair and an empty feeling that was felt (at least by me). We miss you Alexandra. And speaking of missing things, I miss blogging too. I miss talking about her every day and seeing what others are up to. Facebook is great, but you don't really get to KNOW what's going on just by some random status. I miss all of you and maybe in the new year, I can get back to blogging more again. I think I need it.