The Waiting Game

I haven't posted at all lately. Life seems to have gotten in the way, but here is a brief update. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant with Alexandra's and Joshua's little brother! 37 weeks is when I had Joshua because of my history with Alexandra. The only issue with him was we had a power outage and had to wait longer than anticipated. With this one however, it seems as if we're jumping through hoops. I'm not sure if it's a change in the medical regulations or if it's because they see that I had Joshua and he was fine, so this baby shouldn't be any different. Either way, it's annoying and only adds to my frustration. I was scheduled for an amniocentesis yesterday in order to check on the lung maturity of this baby. If results came back mature, my c-section would have been scheduled last night. However, my results were delayed and we're still waiting...

I want this baby to be born healthy, but I'm also having reservations about losing another baby the longer he  is in me! I'm having a little difficulty understanding that Joshua was born at this same gestational age...this baby already outweighs Joshua by a few ounces (he is currently 6 lbs. 15 oz.!) Joshua was 6 lbs. 11 oz. when he was born and had no trouble at all. He's ready and I'm ready. :-)  I just need to know he will be born safe and this constant waiting and wondering is annoying. I guess having a previous stillbirth doesn't matter when you have a living child at home. Sure...it can't happen again! Who would think of such a thing? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................  so all I can do is wait and it's really getting to me.

On a lighter note, Joshua is now 14 months old and getting more and more fun every day! He can now say, "mama", "dada", "bye-bye", "night-night" and "eh oh!". He points to everything, seeming to ask, 'what is that?' He can wave hello and goodbye and is crawling everywhere, not walking just yet, but he is cruising really well. He has been eating solid foods for a while. I think he eats better at daycare than at home lately (a little embarrassed about that). His bedtime is still around 10-10:30 p.m. He doesn't ever seem tired before then and I've never been able to get him down at 8:00 p.m. or any earlier than that. I'm always thinking I screwed that up somehow, but maybe that's just when he sleeps. He does sleep through the night most of the time. He is a joy and it makes me miss his sister that much more when I see some of the things he has been doing lately. I just hope he gets to meet his little brother very soon!

So, that's what is going on with me. I visited Alexandra last weekend and put her Easter decorations up.

Her flowers were so beautiful! And picked out by Daddy. :-)  This picture seems so bittersweet to me. Joshua just wanted to play with them and he loved the pinwheels on the other graves, but I didn't let him go by there because it just seemed wrong. But he can play with his sister's stuff all he wants. Anyway, we miss you Alexandra and hope your brother comes sooner rather than later!