What it feels like

Almost three years ago, the only time I really felt like a "Mom" was when I was writing in this blog or visiting Alexandra at her grave. Sad, right? I was a Mom, but nobody else saw me as one. How would they have known with no baby physically here? Fast forward to today and I finally know what being a "Mom" really feels like, or at least what being a Mom is supposed to feel like. Joshua is 17 months old and I've never really written about this, mostly because I haven't had any time. This past weekend, we took the boys to the zoo for the first time. I've been to zoos before on my own and it was always fun, but this time it was different because for the first time, I had children of my own there experiencing this for the first time. I thought to myself, this is one of the reasons why people have children! Moments like this. I finally got to share something with them that they had never done before and it felt good and it was more fun than any other time before. Both of the boys will probably have no memory of this trip, but it doesn't matter. It was fun. It would have been even more complete if Alexandra was there with us, but butterflies were following me around everywhere that day, so I think she was. :-)

Here are a few pictures from the trip.

Joshua is getting so big! 

My new favorite picture of Adam!