Looking For You
5 years ago
November 22, 2010
I remember
I keep thinking about this whole last week last year and what I was doing then. Monday was the day I lost Alexandra. Tuesday through Thursday was spent in the hospital and tomorrow, the 23rd was when we buried her. It still feels like one big nightmare and looking back on it makes it all seem a little surreal. I know it happened, but it still is hard to believe we actually lived through it all. I remember crying every single night. I remember how much it hurt. I remember feeling like the physical pain of the c-section was like some form of cruel punishment. Most people who had c-sections got to bring their babies home. I had no baby, but I still had to recover from a surgery of having a baby. This was the time I felt closest to my husband and also to my family. Then months went by and the closeness to my family seemed to fade away with every passing month. It's just now starting to get better, so maybe there is some hope. I only wish Alexandra was here today.
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I wish she was here with you too ((HUGS)).
ReplyDelete</3 I did not know the 23rd was her burial day **tears** Why cant we JUST have Friends (n now Conan) in common =**( My heart hurts for you.....delivery healing with NO baby is mother nature kicking you while you are down, and in your case IN the stitches..not fair...not fair at all
ReplyDeleteRemembering is painful and I wish you did not have this pain. I am glad that things are getting better between you and your family. I remember feeling as you did (I had a c-section). I have the physical reminder but no baby to hold. Thinking of you and sending many many hugs.
ReplyDeleteoh maggie, i wish she was here with you, too. i still remember how devastating it was to have my milk come in after delivering Calvin. so unfair.
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