I remember last year at this time. The funeral was done. I was finally back home and the holidays were about to officially start. I remember thinking I had nothing to be thankful for and had nothing to celebrate. I was supposed to still be pregnant with Alexandra. She should have been with us. We should have gone to Thanksgiving joking about how I could very well go into labor during dinner or at least go and look forward to her arrival in December. But there was none of that. I didn't see my side of the family at all. I went to my husband's side and it was only his parents and my SIL. We had dinner and watched a movie. We started to watch the second Ice Age, which I still have yet to see because hey, guess what?! It's about the mammoths and when they have a baby! I remember feeling so awkward the moment that movie started and at the same time, I had no clue at all that my SIL was weeks pregnant with my niece. It sounds like something out of a soap opera, doesn't it? So that was Thanksgiving 2009. Awkward, sad, unthankful and feeling very alone. Oh and did I mention, my friend gave birth to her baby girl the day before?
This year however, is different. I feel like I have come such a long way since then and I actually do feel thankful for many things. I'm thankful for Alexandra. I'm thankful for my family and my friends who have stuck by us throughout the year. I'm thankful for those I have been able to forgive. I'm thankful for the many women I have met thanks to this blog. Without many of you, I really cannot imagine where I would be. And I'm thankful for this new little guy, who I'm hoping will have a safe arrival. :-) There is still going to be someone missing at the dinner table this year. I'm still heartbroken about Alexandra and the pain of losing her is still there, but it all feels different for some reason and I'm not quite sure why. In any case, from Alexandra and me...we wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope the day is as peaceful as it can be, whether or not you choose to celebrate this year.
Wishing you a peaceful Thanksgiving! xx
ReplyDeleteGreat Post! Its funny how our perspective can change from year to year! I felt the same way for thanksgiving, last year! I didn't think I had anything to celebrate. This year I've taken a few moments to actually write down the things I'm thankful for, and it is miles long! I think losing something so precious makes us stop and be thankful for the things we do have! And our little angles have changed us in so many ways (mostly for the better)! So I suppose in every situation we should look for the positives, though I do agree they are sometimes hard to see at the time!
ReplyDeleteAnyways, wishing you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!
This had me in tears. Happy Thanksgiving to you as well! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving! I feel much of the same - this made me smile.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I agree that this year is different (and better) than last year. Much more to be thankful for!
ReplyDelete