May I have a moment of your time to vent, if you will. Just for fun, I decided to go through all my friends on Facebook that have either had a baby, become pregnant or are currently pregnant in the past year alone (not including babyloss moms). I believe I counted thirteen. Of those thirteen, at least ten have all brought home healthy babies. The ones who are left over are still waiting. Of those thirteen, seven of them are baby girls. While I am completely happy and grateful for each and every one of them, I cannot help but feel a little bitter and a tad jealous over every single one of them. Thirteen and yet, here I am, left behind and forgotten that oh yes...she WAS pregnant and did not get to bring her baby girl home. But everyone else did! And then to be greeted with statuses such as,
" To all the unselfish moms out there who traded eyeliner for dark circles, salon haircuts for ponytails, long showers for quick showers, late nights for early mornings, designer bags for diaper bags, and wouldn't change anything. Lets see how many moms post this. Moms who don't care about whatever they gave up and .........instead LOVE what they got in return, post this if you LOVE your life as a Mother!!!"
Well, I say FANfuckinTASTIC!!! I know it's just a stupid Facebook chain. I know it's silly to get all upset over. I know people don't mean to shove this in my face and probably really mean this. I know if I had Alexandra, I probably would have participated in this stupid thing. But it's just plain annoying. It's annoying to see and it's annoying because I tried to rip it off and make my own status about babyloss and how I love my life as a mother to Alexandra... but I couldn't. I love being Alexandra's Mom. I love her and I love that she made me a Mom. But this life? I would trade everything that comes with it for her to have been able to come home. And WTF is the "unselfish" thing about in this? Are you calling ME selfish because I don't have any of that? What is that about? I'm just going to end with this. Fuck you Facebook! I really hate you sometimes. And I really hate how people don't think about shit before their posting things. I would never wish this on anyone, but to all those who have posted stupid things like this or baby pictures in the past year... I really do wish they knew exactly how it felt, just for one day. Just for one minute maybe. It's an entirely different world.
* vent over. :-) Despite my past rant and bitterness, I actually had a reasonable day today. I just thought this was more healthy to do than start some kind of tirade on Facebook or make more enemies than I already have.
Looking For You
5 years ago
oh maggie. i will probably see that as it makes its around facebook and then i will feel sick and want to throw up because i'm so jealous. honestly, i usually hide the non-rainbow preggos from my newsfeed, but sometimes - maybe self-inflicting pain part of me - goes and starts looking at all of them. and it hurts all over.
ReplyDeleteWell said Maggie!! <3
ReplyDeleteI have 20 friends and family who had babies, and another having one any day. I totally agree. I HATE all the facebook posts. The few times I'm on facebook I wonder why there isn't a Dislike thumbs down.
ReplyDeleteThis is a your blog and a great place to vent. We understand perfectly. I know of one BLM who is always griping about how tired she is of taking care of her toddler. Why would you complain about having a healthy child when you have buried another? FB can be a good thing sometimes, but other times, it's the pits.
ReplyDeleteHOLLA!!!!!!!!! I couldnt have written this better myself, except id edit it to be out of 8 preggos 7 are girls FML....and F FB too!!!!!!!! love you!!!!!!!
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