Last year, New Year's seemed to be harder for me than Christmas and I was not prepared for that at all. I think I spent all my time focusing on getting through Christmas, that I completely forgot about New Year's Eve. I've had bad New Year's in the past, so it was never really a favorite holiday of mine to begin with. I remember crying a lot last year. I cried with every sip of champagne I drank. I kept thinking, I shouldn't be allowed to drink. All I wanted was to be pregnant again. I hated to see 2009, Alexandra's year go. It was supposed to end so happily and it ended so sadly. My New Year's plans were to take care of a crying baby, not take care of a crying me. The thought of having to go through an entire year mourning my daughter seemed terrifying to me, but I survived. I will admit 2010 was definitely hard and brought along things I never thought I would ever have to deal with. But, it also brought me so many things I am thankful for, like meeting so many other BLMs and it also kind of proved I'm able to do anything. Some days I feel like I'm super woman and other days I feel like I'm powerless.
Here is hoping that 2011 brings all my readers a peaceful, gentle and kind New Year. For the ones who are expecting rainbows, I hope it brings them all home safe and in your arms. For those who do not have their rainbows yet, I hope it brings you one. And for those with rainbows already, I hope the year brings many happy milestones and moments with them. Hug them close! Happy New Year 2011 everyone, from Alexandra, me and my rainbow, Joshua. :-)
Hugs to you, my dear friend. Happy new year to you...and many happy memories ahead.
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