For some unknown reason, I received an e-mail the other day regarding suspicious activity on one of my credit card accounts. How in the world the company regarded the activitiy as "suspicious" is beyond me because the amount charged was not all that much. Nevertheless, I called and was issued a new card. Last night I called to activate it and part of the conversation went something like this:
Credit card lady: Oh, you can personalize your card online to any kind of design or picture you want. For example, some people put pictures of their pets on there...some put specific symbols on there... I personally have pictures of my grandchildren on there..
Me: (thinking) Please don't ask me if I have any children and suggest I can put their pictures on there... please don't ask me...please don't ask me... Oh yeah? That's nice, can I put a picture of my dead baby on there? Is that appropriate?
Thankfully, she didn't go there, but I couldn't help but think that. Sometimes it's the simplest things that come out that you would not expect. Who knew I would even think or worry about being asked that type of question when I'm calling to activiate a stupid credit card? Ugh.
In other news of late, I received two "simple things" in the mail the other day. Two "I'm sorry" cards from none other than my SIL. It's taken so long and I've literally been heartsick over this for months, but she apologized profusely and I think we're going to be okay. It's a step in the right direction and for the first night in months, I actually slept a little more peacefully and felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Is it still going to hurt every time I see my niece or think about the past? Hell yes, but at least we can work it out and hope for the best. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Here's to lots of hope and better days ahead.
Looking For You
5 years ago
definitely wishing you that hope and better days! glad you received that card. it always feels good to get one more.
ReplyDeleteugh, those 'simple questions' can really put so much stress on you, i was waiting for you to say "So i picked the butterflies, or disney charactrs =P"
ReplyDeleteBut I seen where it was going and it just hurt my heart for you, cause i know how that feels too...
When we spoke about your SIL today my first question was "what do we think of this?" Because I was so curious to see what 'kind' of reaching out there was...and after you let me in on the whole letter (well most of it) I realized that it took a lot for her to do that, and it is a step in the right direction...people in real life dont realize that they cause us more harm than good by their actions, and im glad to see that there is a positive vibe going now...xoxo...positive vibes are never bad =D
I hope you can work things out with your SIL. I don't get along with mine at all and it does make things tense sometimes. Glad she sent you a card, even a late one. I only received two cards and both were from bereavement support groups. Kind of sucks that no friends or family felt like sending one. I hope you'll be able to have a good relationship with your niece...being an Aunt is a special gift all on it's own. But I know it will be tough on you. I haven't seen my new niece since the day she was born. I just can't yet. One day.
ReplyDeleteI have definitely had my fair share of thoughts that have responses like that and though it pains me to admit, have even said them out loud to people.
ReplyDeleteI am happy to hear that your SIL did apologize to you.
Ooo Maggie, I've had so many conversations where the same thought goes through my mind.... Please don't ask me how many kids I have. Oo how I wish we weren't in the spot that we have to think about these things and we were both holding our daughters instead. Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteAnd i'm so glad to hear that you got the sorry card from your sil!! Hopefully your on the road back together again.
Its amazing the places it can pop up, isn't it? Children, babies, they surround us. And what a simple question "Do you have children?" So innocent. :\ <3
ReplyDeleteWow Maggie, I could have written the first part of your post! I have found myself in a lot of those type of convos.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to hear your SIL sent you and apology. Hopefully she will be able to respond to you in a more unsderstanding way. Makes me wonder if she did a little research on her own or sought advice from someone who gets it. Nonetheless she apologized, yeay!
You are lucky that your SIL apologized... in my case my MIL will never apologize about anything that she does.
ReplyDeleteShe will never admit she was wrong and I guess she will hate me until the day she dies. Like she told my husband... "tell her not to contact me never ever again" and by knowing her she will never change. She has not talk to her own brother in more than 4 years, so why would she talk to me?
Currently I am 24 weeks pregnant with my second child... Victoria... and it has been 5 months since she talk to me.
I went to her house once last month and she didn't talk to me, didn't shake my hand because she had "strep throat" and went back inside the house until I left 30 mins after.
For her the death of my son was just one unfortunate event, nothing important, that is why she thinks "I should have got over it long time ago" and my favorite: "you were making me way too sad with your facebook coments, that is why I erased you from my friends", etc to name a few of the awful things she has said to me after my son died 8 months ago.
I havent got a phone call to see how am I doing, not even a hug or some nice comforting words, nothing to show me she cares about her grandson.
Any way I am very happy that everything worked for you:)
Huh. Didn't know you could get pics on your credit card (oh except Capital One-they always have those commercials). I wonder if you could get a picture of your dead baby on there.....
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear your got a sorry card from your SIL.
*hugs* hoping all gets mended with your SIL
ReplyDeleteI am glad your SIL sent you those cards, I hope it all works out in the end. I know it will never be the same as it used to be, but maybe at least you will not feel so awkward at family functions have to avoid her so much.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are well otherwise :)
Maggie so glad your SIL apologized. I'm sure her apology lightened your heart a tad. Hoping for better days for you and your relationship with your SIL.
ReplyDeleteAhh, better late than never. A step in the right direction towards patching things up and to a better understanding on her part of where you were, are and will be. A little weight lifted for you both, I am sure.
ReplyDeletexo