Sometimes a good day doesn't seem possible to have anymore since losing Alexandra. She's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think of before going to sleep. The days just do not seem to be as good as they were a few months ago, but I have to admit that today was a good day (at least a good day in the baby loss world). I'm a bridesmaid for one of my friends and we went to a bridal show. It was fun just being out and away from everything. However, I will admit that I got a little sad during a fashion show when they were showing dresses for flower girls and suits for the ring bearers. I will never get to see Alexandra in a little dress. She will never be a flower girl in a wedding. I won't be able to see her in her own wedding someday. It's funny to see what little things can remind you of your baby.
Going to the bridal show reminded me of when I was newly engaged and in the midst of my own wedding plans. It was a fun, exciting time in my life. I had no pain and no sadness, but I also did not have Alexandra. My time with her was very short, but every minute spent with her was precious. I am glad to have known her and I am glad for my good day. I hope you were able to have a good day too.
Looking For You
5 years ago
Maggie, you will start to see more good days as time moves on. It doesn't mean there will always be good days, but you will see more. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI totally get why the fashion show made you sad...the littlest things someetimes.
I start to think of things as before and after as well - on one hand you wish you were transported back to the good time, but then you would have never met your angel. I guess we just have to learn to live in this new world.
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