Looking For You
5 years ago
January 8, 2010
Missing you
It has been seven weeks since I had Alexandra and it still feels like it just happened yesterday. November 16, 2009 continues to play over and over in my head. I'm still trying to make sense of it all. I don't think any of this will ever make sense, but hopefully writing this blog will help me deal with my grief. Another reason I want to write this is to express my feelings and remember everything about Alexandra because I'm afraid I'm going to forget. We love you Alexandra. I don't understand why you were taken from us so soon. You will always be in our hearts.
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Hi Maggie,
ReplyDeleteI am from the BBC 2/3rd trimester loss group. I find that keeping a blog helps me just to get my feelings out. my blog is www.rememberingelizabeth.blogspot.com
I am thinking of you and praying for your healing (and mine too!). Many hugs,
Melissa
I am afraid to forget as well, and I am trying to write everything down. Have you tried to write out the whole story about what happened? I have started it and although I am a long ways from finishing it I think it does help to get it on paper.
ReplyDeleteI came over from the BBC 2nd/3rd trimester group as well. My blog is ajourneythroughmotherhood.blogspot.com. You even start to see your progression of healing and how you are doing. I hope that blogging is all that you hope it will be. *Hugs*
ReplyDeleteI came over from the 2nd/3rd tri. loss board and wanting to come over to give you support on your blog. I started a blog after I lost my daughter, Lily, on 8/3/08 and have found it to be such a great avenue for me to cry/vent about all of the feelings that mix when you lose a baby.
ReplyDeleteI hope your blog helps in your healing although you will never be the same woman you were before you lost Alexandra. You learn day by day to live your new life... ((hugs))
It takes a long time to make sense of this, especially when you don't have concrete medical reasoning. We will never have 100% definite reasoning, but we have a very strong (and medically reasoned) idea now about what caused Gracie's demise. It took us just over 3 months to get that far. I, too, am afraid to forget, so I wrote EVERYTHING that I could remember down, no matter how small the detail. As the days pass, some of the minute details are no longer standing in the front of my mind, but everything else is still there...front and center. I suspect that there is no possible way to forget.
ReplyDeleteI have only shared my blog with a small handful of people that we know in real life, and those people have all lost babies at some point. Otherwise, it's just the girls (and the occasional guy) in blogland, and I am free to really express how I feel about this without worrying or offending the rest of the people around me in my daily life. It has been such a good avenue for venting and releasing, and I think it has also been an even better avenue for networking and connecting than the message forums.
Don't know if you are on FB, but you are welcome to look me up there....susan@valleyrehabilitation.com is the email address I use.
Hugs to you...
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of Alexandra. I am with you on not wanting to forgot anything about my time with my little guy. I to am hoping the blogging will help
ReplyDeleteTake care