How did I get to here?

How did I get here today? How did we all get to here?  A year ago today I wasn't even pregnant. I was starting to wonder if I could even get pregnant. Then sometime during March I finally did and everything changed. I was looking forward to finally starting a family. Every day seemed so hopeful and I couldn't wait to get to the next week. Life seemed full of possibility. By September, my pregnancy was beginning to feel really long. It was taking forever to get to December! Alexandra was due on December 20th. Time seemed to be moving so slowly. Now, time seems to be moving so fast. How can you go from one extreme to another? I had her back in November and it seems like forever ago even though it still feels like yesterday.  That probably doesn't even make sense! The holidays came and went and here I am. It's almost February and it has been almost three months since we have lost our Alexandra. When did time start moving so fast? Sometimes I feel like the days don't even matter. It's just a day. I also can't help but think that my husband's family is starting to only focus on this new baby coming soon. It feels like everyone forgot about Alexandra and the fact that we lost our daughter. I think I read somewhere that the three month mark was the hardest. The sympathy cards have stopped coming in a long time ago. People call and visit less. We aren't receiving food or gifts anymore. People have moved on with their lives despite us still feeling as if our world has come to an end. I hate it. The days and weeks right after losing Alexandra I didn't want to talk to or see anybody! I wanted everyone to just leave me the hell alone. And now all I really want is for people to let me know they still care about Alexandra. I'm not concerned about people thinking of me. I just don't want people to forget about Alexandra. I'm just sick of it all. I'm sick of the empty feelings. I want that happiness back.