Just another day

Another day, another $25.00 taken out of my account because it's the 18th of the month and for what? Well, my baby doppler of course!  So far I have spent $75.00 for some doppler that I don't even have any use for anymore.  My head tells me I'm being silly for spending $25/month on something I am not even using and that I should pack it up and be done with it. But my heart tells me that it was the thing that I used to hear Alexandra every day.  It was also the first thing to tell me that something was very, very wrong. You would think that I would have been happy to get rid of it!  I have not been able to pack it up and send it back just yet. It's too hard and to be honest, I'm also very lazy.  I remember how excited I was when it first came.  I know it's ridiculous and I feel stupid for wasting money, but it's just another reminder. I will pack it up one day. I know I will. :)

Yesterday, my husband went to visit Alexandra and he said that there was a new grave a few spots over from hers.  It breaks my heart to know there is another grave because that means another baby has died. I feel for those people and I don't even know them. So very sad.