Day 21 and 22

Day 21 - a recipe.

My laziness got the best of me this past weekend, so I missed the days. Now, I'm not much of a cook. I would like to be, but most of the time I just don't have the time to come home and cook a real meal. Maybe someday... and after Alexandra died, it took me a real long time to finally even think of making something for myself! So, I don't have many recipes, but I do have this (and I might have had this in my blog earlier somewhere, but for some newer readers, here it is):

 The Recipe to Get Through Infant Loss
Take devastating loss, turn it into healthy grief and find progressive healing

Ingredients Experienced:
14 days of numbness, wishing it was all a dream
A dash of phone calls & emails to inform others of your loss
1 week of memorial planning
1 day of smiling
2 days of feeling guilty for smiling
6 months of adjusting to your new normal
9 months of a roller coaster ride through grief
3-4 weeks of Anger
5 months of Tears
1 month of asking Why Me?
2 weeks of Anxiety
3 days of Denial
3 months of Depression
A little laughter, then back to sad again

Just before the 1st year Angel~ Versary, grab 1 month of Depression
Now that you’ve made it to 1 year you may have had
Several months of Sadness
A few weeks of Fear
Time to gain Compassion
A few months to find Acceptance
And an Unlimited amount of missing your angel

With the above ingredients you can now start preparing for Healthy Grieving

Mix in many months of counseling and/or talking with those who understand. Blend in being able to share your story without becoming teary eyed. Set aside moments for brief meltdowns, and then stir in the strength to get up and keep going. Add in the possibilities of having more children, knowing your angel will never be replaced. Throw in a pinch of fear to try again. Mix in the realization that there will be no crawling, first steps, first day of school, or graduation. Add the comfort that your angel will never know sickness, rejection, or the pains of this world. Set aside both happy and sad tears and know it’s still ok to cry. Mix in life without your angel then sprinkle in precious memories. Cover with hope that your faith will provide you the strength to continue into progressive healing.
Sometimes you will need and will repeat this cycle

Progressive Healing is a constant process, so hold on to your memories, cherish your keepsakes, and never be uncomfortable to say “I Have My Very Own Angel”
*Disclaimer: This recipe was put together to encourage those who have suffered a loss.
Time measurements may vary, and examples given may differ. This is a general recipe put together based on conversations with numerous women who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss


Day 22 - a website that has been meaningful since your loss.


I have hundreds of websites bookmarked about pregnancy/infant loss. However, I think the one that has been most meaningful might have been this one, simply because it led me to so many blogs...and so many of you (http://babylossdirectory.blogspot.com/). This is where I went when my grief was so fresh and all I did was read one blog after another. It might be as updated as it once was when I first went to it, but it's worth a look.