200!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, this is it!! My 200th post!!!!!! And also my final question! My question comes from Susan at Our Lives Forever Changed. I believe Susan's blog was my first one I ever read. I remember it touched me so much, I sent her a message thanking her for writing. That was before this blog. That seems forever ago today. Susan asks, "What has been the biggest change for you and Mark as a couple over the last 8 months?"

I would have to say the biggest change for my husband and I as a couple has been family differences. When I got married to him, I remember thinking how lucky I was to have an entire family of in-laws that loved me already and I had known for so many years. At least for me, there was not a lot of getting to know the in-laws when we started dating because I already had known many of them. I was practically family already because of the relationship I had with his sister. I know so many people who have difficulty with in-laws and at the time, my life was going great and I felt lucky not to have to deal with the dreaded annoying in-laws. My how things change. The days after we lost Alexandra, everything seemed fine. We had a few people who were annoyed that they weren't invited to Alexandra's service, but for whatever reason that didn't bother me. I wanted her service to be immediate family only. I couldn't bear to have a huge funeral for her and have everyone see me in the state I was (after a c-section, mourning my newborn baby). I couldn't handle the thought of all the pity looks and "Oh, that poor girl..." sayings. Now I kind of regret it because I feel like cutting the family out of that kind of distanced them from Alexandra all together and that might be why one reason why people just have no idea how to react to us. But what is done is done. As the months went on, I of course had all the family difficulty and much of it has been from my husband's side, not the entire family, just a few people. Nevertheless, I feel it has created an obvious conflict between these few people and I'm still trying to learn how to handle it all. I feel guilty when I say I'm not going somewhere because "she" will be there or I don't want to deal with "her". It's his family he grew up with and he shouldn't have to deal with this drama between everyone...all because people said ignorant things about Alexandra or because I was too sensitive and took everything a wrong way. So, I think this is the most challenging thing as a couple I have had and it has definitely changed things for us in some ways. My husband and I are closer than ever, but I wish this drama was never here to begin with. I don't like change that brings on bad things. I wish we had only good things.

On that note, this is the end of my giveaway questions! Because of my laziness, I have not been able to go and pick out my prize yet, but I have a pretty good idea of what I want to give away. I'm hoping to maybe go this weekend and pick it out. After that, I will announce the winner! Thanks everyone for participating and also for following my blog and most of all for listening...and being the ones who "get it". :-)