Marvelous Monday

I'm joining Rachel again in another Marvelous Monday. I almost didn't post one today and nearly didn't even bother with a post at all! I'm starting to feel like I'm running out of things to be thankful for, but that is so not true. Every day there has to be something, right? So today the thing I'm thankful for is quite simple. It's Alexandra. While her time with us was so very brief, I am so very thankful to have had those 35 weeks with her and those couple of hours I had holding her after she was born. She was so tiny and so perfect. I'm so glad to have seen what she looked like. A little miniature version of me with lots of hair. For some reason, I always thought she was going to be bald! But she was definitely not and she was so soft and delicate. I was on some heavy drugs after my c-section, so I'm glad I can still remember so much of her.

I'm so glad to have known her little moves and nudges. Her little heartbeat every day and night was like music to my ears. I loved it and I loved listening to her. I loved talking to her every day and night. I enjoyed our "Mommy & Me" time, which is when I had her all to myself. That was mostly during the drives to and from work and every night I would say 'good night' to her just before I went to bed. I would say, "Love you Alexandra, good night little girl, can't wait to see you" and pat my stomach. That was my nightly ritual up until the very last night. Sometimes I would hope with all my heart she would make it through the night. See how crazy I was? She was my first pregnancy and I acted like I could lose her anytime! Maybe that's just me being a good Mom. I worried so much from day one. I guess you never stop worrying about your children. I finally understand that. So yes, I'm thankful for knowing Alexandra. I'm thankful for everything she has taught me so far, everything she will continue to teach me, and I am so very thankful to be her Mom. Thank you Alexandra for making me a Mom and your Daddy a Dad. We may not look like parents to a lot of people, but we are and we know it! We love and miss you so very much!