Umm...no thanks.

Someone told me today (from my family) to not live in the past and only think about the future. Shut the baby room's door, throw that carseat in the trunk, get rid of the baby things and just move on. Basically she's dead and I'm still living. Don't stop living my life just because she died. Yes, I realize that. I'm doing that every damn day. It's not like I've stopped living. The first few days yes, I did sometimes just sit in a chair and stare off into space thinking of what went wrong, why me, I want my baby back, why? why? etc. But the days went on and it got easier. I started to do things like watch T.V. again, go on the computer, talk to friends, laugh. I know they probably had good intentions like everyone else who attempts to give me some kind of advice, but I really didn't need to hear that. Maybe that's how some people cope. Everyone copes and grieves differently. If you want to get rid of all of the baby related things, then do it. If you want to completely deny the fact a baby was even born, go ahead if that is what makes you feel better. But don't try and tell me how to cope and grieve. Don't tell me to forget about my own daughter and stop thinking about her. I am going to do everything in my power to honor and remember her the rest of my life. The future is in the future and right now it's hard to think about. I'm still wondering if there IS a possibility of a future baby. How can I focus on that if I still don't even know if that's real yet? It's nearly four months since losing Alexandra and it still amazes me of what people say. They think they know everything or their so oblivious in realizing what their saying really hurts more than anything. Well I have some advice for that and I think all Mommies would appreciate this. Just shut up. I learned a long time ago from my own Mom if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. So yeah, no thanks. I'll keep remembering Alexandra, my daughter I carried with me for almost nine months. I know she wouldn't want me to forget her and as her Mom that is one thing I know I can do. I know I can remember her forever. Just because I still think of her every day and still have her things in our house doesn't mean I'm stuck in the past. I'm moving on and taking Alexandra's memory with me every step of the way.