Happy 6 months little girl!

Alexandra would have been six months old today. Six months! I have to admit that I forgot about today. It wasn't until a friend said she was thinking of me today that I actually remembered. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know. Six months have gone by so quickly and so slowly at the same time. That doesn't make any sense, but none of this does, so I think that's okay.

I cannot believe I've managed to get through each day these last six months. I've had my good days and a whole lot of bad days, but I'm pushing through and I'm still here. I want to say it feels like it's all starting to get a little easier as each day passes, but some days are just really hard. On a lot of days, I find it hard to believe that I was pregnant, had a daughter and she died. And now here I am, back at the beginning and trying to get pregnant again. The last thing I thought I would be doing in six months was trying to get pregnant again. I thought I would have a newborn daughter to take care of and would be doing all those Mom things. So, what do I have to show for six months? Not too much, other than a giant A sized hole in my heart. Some days it seems bigger than ever and other days I know it's still there, but it's not as noticeable.

Happy six months Alexandra! You are missed every, single day. We'll never forget you. :-)