I thought this was cute and really fits my mood lately. I'm so cynical, like Rat. I need to be like Pig who believes that happiness can be found no matter what or no matter how hard life is. I hope I can get there one day. Lately, I feel like I'm stuck in some maze with no end in sight. Six months ago, I saw an end... it was my due date. I feel like I focused so much on the end of a pregnancy instead of a beginning of a new life with my baby. Again, cynical me, always looking at the negative. I'm starting to wonder if all of that worrying and negative feelings had something to do with losing Alexandra. How am I going to calm myself if I get pregnant again?! Somebody knock me out for nine months and wake me up when the baby is here! :-) But, I have to get pregnant first. One stupid day at a time. Hating this!
Do I even need to say something?? Hmmm WONDER who I am...BET YOU its not that damn pig, although the pig is my dream too....Oh and according to the therapist..."we are grieving, its hard to see positive with all the experience we just had"....Um duh lady!!!! But she is right, as long as we are still in the grieving process we cant think pig, so there for TEAM RAT ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete((Hugs)) Maggie. Thinking about you! Enjoy your weekend, its a long one :)
ReplyDeleteI am also the rat....always have been. This whole rainbow baby thing is hard...I'm not going to lie. This might actually be the hardest thing I have ever done because of the constant string of emotions attached to it. I actually have half of a new post done and saved on Beana's blog in reference to this....I am hoping to get it posted today or tomorrow. It is so hard to see it all the way the rest of the world does, because you are constantly waiting for the other shoe to fall. Constantly. I think even the most optimistic of BLMs must fall into this during all subsequent pregnancies...there is no way to not. But, just like all of the other days, the sun comes up and goes down whether we want it to or not.....
ReplyDelete*hug* it is very difficult at times to remain positive on this long and sometimes lonely road of grieving the loss of a child. You may say you are such a pessimist, but I haven't really felt that from you. Even the title of your post has such a positive ring to it. I feel you deserve to give yourself more credit of being a positive person. I feel positivity radiating from you :)
ReplyDeletelove and prayers
elena
The title of your blog not post. Sorry for the typo.
ReplyDeleteI feel that way too at times (((hugs)))
ReplyDelete