Well, nothing like a drunken night of drinking and playing Rock Band to nurse a broken heart. :-) I really don't do that often, but every once in a while is fun. I feel a little better now that I've seen my new niece. I held her. I was there for my SIL. I think I'm allowed to be done for a while. A little bit of a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, but there's still an entire lifetime of crap to follow. I'm going to see this baby grow up now and every day is going to be a reminder of what I'm missing. When I was holding my niece, it felt weird. I don't know what to do with a living baby. Dead baby? I'm an expert. Living baby, not so much. I feel like I should know what to do and I don't. I think that's what hurts the most. I should know all of this stuff and I don't.
I have also heard my first stupid comment from me seeing my new niece. I'm going to call this person 'D' for dumbass. She went to see my SIL and she saw pictures of me holding the baby and she says, 'Well, at least Maggie's not upset in your pictures'. Really? That's the first thing out of your mouth? Not, 'oh, I bet that was really hard for Maggie to do, that's nice she came.' Stupidity amazes me. This is also coming from the very same person who asked me how I enjoyed my c-section the next day while I was in the hospital. Which then followed by, 'I know how you feel' and ... 'Grace, that's a pretty middle name, think I'll use it for my second child if I have a girl'. Please do me a favor and shut your stupid mouth.
*sigh* I just miss my baby. I wish she was here today. I wish she could meet her new cousin. I wish she was helping me learn all the things normal Moms do. Instead, I get to watch my SIL do everything I should have done five months ago. Boo. :-(
Looking For You
5 years ago
I hear you my friend! I'm sending you great big hugs!!! I'm glad you were able to drink you sorrows away (for a little while anyway) Hang in there. You have many of us here with you.
ReplyDeleteHUGS
oh my email is jymr05@juno.com You are so sweet to think of me!
I know how you feel. Missing Alexandra with you. I'm sorry there are so many ignorant people in the world. Those are the people who should be losing their babies (I know that's mean- but that's how I feel when I hear people say stupid shit). xo
ReplyDeleteD for Dumbass is right, these people have no idea and they don't even try to and that is the worst part. Good for you for going out, I am sure it was nice to have a change!
ReplyDeleteWow, she has no class!!! I'd probably try and avoid her too!! Big hugs.
ReplyDeleteMaggie..I give you mad props for seeing AND holding your new niece. My niece is 4 months old (they live in PA) and I still haven't seen her. It's so very difficult. Then to have someone say such an ignorant comment during a very difficult time...I am very sorry. I miss Zoe everyday...and I am missing sweet Alexandra with you. I wish I could send out a memo to the world of what NOT to say to us who have lost a child. I will get on that and figure out a way! :-) Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteWow, what an IDIOT...Ugh, there's ignorance and there is just a whole different level of dumbass and that girl went above and beyond!
ReplyDeleteI thought of you last night and wondered how the drinking party was going ;) We all gotta do it sometime!
(((HUGS))). I hate it when people say stupid stuff like that. Luckily for me i live far away from anyone that knows me so i dont have to hear it much.
ReplyDeleteMissing Alexandra with you. Xxx
People just don't always 'get it' and I am so sorry that you have to hear those things. Oh how I wish Alexandra was in your arms right now. Sending you LOTS of LOVE!! xo
ReplyDeleteOther "D" names:
ReplyDeleteDingbat
Doorknob
Dimwit
Douche (maybe a little much on the nasty side?)
I am not quite sure how someone like that gets away with what she says? Doesn't anyone around her feel the need to take her aside and let her know how to show a little sympathy? It really is mind boggling to me!! I know people often say things that they think are helping however her comments are just off and distasteful.
I am glad you have your space to get it all out!! We are always hear to listen.
xo
Maggie, hugs to you. I think that you were very nice to go and see your niece and to hold her. I can imagine that like everyday that makes you miss your sweet little girl more. I wish Alexandra was here for you to hold. I do not know why people can not think before they say things, I am sorry that you had to go through that. ((hugs)) again, and thinking about you!
ReplyDeleteIm with Jaime on what else "D" can stand for except she didnt list mine, I bet you can guess it though...lol...WOW...Maggie Maggie Maggie...It isnt fair that someone had to say that about you, THEY should be sad for you, not that if you were sad it would be a sin or something...YES she is sad, she isnt sad her niece is alive "D" she is sad HER baby isnt...!!! Holding your niece so soon after this has happened to you makes you a better person than me, I told you I dont know if I would be able to. I can barely see little girls in the street without tearing up, let alone hold a baby in a hospital knowing the last time we held a baby in a hospital it was ours and it was sleeping and it was THE LAST TIME we saw them....I wish ALexandra was with you, and i wish she physically got to meet her cousin as well...Its not fair...That is all i can say about this...you deserved a better ending to this story..xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteOh Maggie, people can be so bloody thoughtless and cruel. no body will understand unless they put 'our' shoes on for a day, then times that feeling by a million.
ReplyDeleteSorry they made you feel this way. And i miss my baby too so much.
thinking of you
Angel's Mummy x
I am so sorry I am so late on responding to this post. I want to call this person "FD" I am sure you can fill in the "F." I am so sorry you have to deal with this. *huge hugs*
ReplyDeleteI wish Alexandra was here with you.
Stupid is as stupid does....it really is amazing sometimes, isn't it. Sometimes it's so amazing that it just doesn't seem humanly possible for someone to be that stupid.
ReplyDelete