I can run...but I cannot hide!

Isn't that the truth?! Well, I am back dear readers & friends! I have missed a lot of you. I have missed this space, but in a lot of ways the break was good. I have been reading & posting in this blog since January every.single.day. I seriously do not know what I would do or where I would be without having this space and friends to talk to, but being away for just a little bit felt good. I didn't get up and read sad stories. I wasn't overwhelmed with so many feelings of others or of my own. I didn't make it a point to come on here and read or write a new post every day. It almost felt like my life was "normal" again. At some points, I even felt like I did before Alexandra. I felt like the old Maggie again, that is until some random pregnant woman would show up and bring me back down to reality and remind me what my reality really was. One of the reasons I was there was to "get away" from it all. Get away from feeling so very sad, get away from babies, get away from my new niece and all of the sad feelings that this whole situation brings to me (and still does, every single damn day, thank you very much!), get away from pregnancy/TTC and all that crap...and oh yeah, I lost my daughter nearly six months ago, so I deserved a break. And huge, pregnant bellies were a harsh reminder of what my real life is now. All of those terrible feelings brought on because of one, innocent pregnant belly seen throughout the day. Ugh. And it just wasn't one the entire trip...no, no. This is how I estimate my figures to be: 30 pregnant women, countless babies, kids & newborns (I won't even bother trying to figure that number out) and at least 4-5 new mothers, breastfeeding their newborns right in front of my face. They just whipped out their breast whenever I seemed to walk by...really?!! Come on people! And why in a stupid art museum?! I saw women who were heavily pregnant, just walking around in the art museum. Why are you not home, resting and nesting and getting ready for baby??? Why do they choose to come and torture me on my vacation?! When I was eight months pregnant, I could barely drag my ass into work, let alone go walk around some art museum all day. I barely had the energy to do that on my own vacation, NOT pregnant! Give me a break people, that's all I have to say. Despite these daily reminders, I had a nice trip! For one thing, I met Antoinette! I will probably write more about our visit later, but I am so very glad to have met her and her husband. We had a blast and it was really nice to meet and just be with someone else who, unfortunately is going through the very same situation that we all are. Such sad circumstances for why we all have met, but I am so thankful and glad to know her and everyone else. And NYC is just a real fun city to go visit. I <3 NY. :)

I am obviously behind on blogs and have no idea what has been going on. I feel like I'm a little bit out of the loop on a lot of things, but I'll catch up. If I don't comment, please know I'm reading and am still here! :-) It's good to be back and here is a picture of Antoinette & me. Don't we look cute?! Hopefully, I'll post more later.