Happy 3 Months

Dear Alexandra,

I never got to hear you cry. I never got to see you smile. I never got to hear you laugh. I never saw your beautiful eyes, but I'm sure they were brown just like mine. I never was able to take you home. We have a crib in your nursery all ready for you, but you will never be able to sleep inside of it. I'm so sorry you cannot because we got you the most perfect Winnie the Pooh sheets for you. Pink and sweet, just like I'm sure you would have been! I will never see you roll over, crawl or take your first steps. We have a swing that we were really looking forward to using, do you remember? I played the music from it for you sometimes. All of these wonderful things we were looking forward to sharing with you so much...and we cannot. You are gone. But sweetheart, I do know this. I know what your heart sounded like. I know what your kicks and turns felt like. I felt your hiccups. I felt your gentle touch. I was able to hold you in my arms. I know you had my face, especially my nose. I know what you felt like, so soft and so delicate. I know you hated steak, but you loved french fries and milkshakes! You also loved orange juice, couldn't get enough! You loved kicking Daddy when he blew on my tummy. Please know you are always on our mind every day and every minute. We miss you so very much. I wish you were here with us today. I wish you could grow up with your cousin, who is also a girl. I just found out today. You would have been great friends. Happy 3 month birthday to you my sweet Alexandra. I love you so very much. I may never be able to share what I wanted and had looked forward to so much with you, but I know you will always be in my heart and you will always be our daughter.

Love,
Mommy