Mondays are the worst...and I hate them even more now because Alexandra died on a Monday and the following Monday was her funeral service. So now I have all the more reason to hate Mondays. But...not here in blogland! (Is blogland one word or two? Let's make it one!) So, what am I thankful for this Marvelous Monday? I am thankful for the good days. Good days these days are very few and far between, but every so often a good day comes along and I feel almost normal. What makes a good day these days? A good day for me now is when...
my heart doesn't feel like it's breaking in two...
I'm not focusing on other people's pregnancies and babies...
I'm not jealous of others...
I'm not angry...
I'm not sad...
I can laugh...
I can think of Alexandra and smile...
I almost feel like my old self and somewhat "normal"... I say almost because I don't think I'll ever be my "old self", whatever that was.
I feel like I have hope for the future...I will have a brother or sister for Alexandra one day and I have a feeling brighter days will be ahead.
Now that's a good day! And anytime one of these days comes around I am forever thankful.
I loved the first time I was able to think about my babies and smile. xo
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet post. Good days are such a relief. Thinking of you and your precious baby girl. xx
ReplyDeleteI have a really hard time letting go of the anger and jealousy. I'd say sometimes it's out of my mind, but it's still there. It's something I'm working on. I've learned to embrace the good days as they can be rare. Be gentle on yourself. Sending love!
ReplyDeleteThe good days are such a blessing. *hugs*
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