Yesterday I went to see a perinatal nurse to talk about getting pregnant again. I know I cannot control everything, but I can at least try my best. The meeting went well and she talked about our loss and she gave me a number for high risk specialists. This is also a new hospital. It's closer to where I live and our other one does not have any high risk specialists. Anyway, the nurse said she had recently spoken with one of the doctors and he said I needed no referral in my case and he would be happy to see me. She said to tell them I recently had a stillbirth and I need to schedule a preconception appointment. Easier said than done. After the appointment I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time. This is how I imagined my call would be:
Me: Yes, I would like to schedule an appointment please with Dr. so and so.
Kind lady who answers phone: Sure, who do you need to see and why?
Me: Any one of your doctors for a preconception visit. I recently had a stillbirth in November and I'm trying to get pregnant again, but before I would like to have any tests/screenings done in an effort to not have this happen again.
Kind lady: Oh I see. Okay, I'm so sorry, let's see what I can do.
Now I'm not sure what I was thinking that made me think I would have such a nice troublefree conversation in asking to get an appointment. The nurse I spoke with said I might have some trouble, but I was hopeful. I called the number I was given and I got some lady who rudely interrupted me asking, "Is this a doctor's office?" Me- "Umm..no, but..." She then interrupted me again and said, "Well, I don't know who gave you this number, but it's the wrong one, call this one instead... blah blah blah..." click! Bitch #1! Okay, that wasn't too bad. The lady was incredibly rude, but if it's the wrong number, it's the wrong number. I call the new number given to me. I am then on hold for about 10-15 minutes reassuring me that my call is very important. So I waited and waited and finally I get somebody. This is what happened.
Me: Yes, I need to schedule a preconception appointment please.
Bitch #2: Are you a doctor's office?
Me: No, but I met with a nurse earlier this morning and she said I could call and schedule one without a referral.
Bitch #2: What nurse? I don't think you spoke to any nurse here. What was her name? You need a doctor referral.
Me: Yes I understand that, but you see I..
Bitch #2: Dr. referral. I can't do anything without a doctor referral. Do you understand? Dr. referral.
Me: But...I had a stillbirth in November and .... I'm trying to meet with one of your doctors and the nurse said she spoke with him and said I could schedule a visit..and I'm trying to get pregnant again and I..... (tears)
Bitch #2: HOLD ON! (puts me on hold)
She then comes back and says, "Okay fine. But we still need a doctor referral. Who was your previous doctor? I'll have to call them and get your records because we can't do anything without that."
No shit. I realize that. I have copies of my medical records and I'm sure it would be no problem to get a copy from my doctor's, but why the difficulty? Why did I have to cry in order to receive some kind of attention? I was not planning on crying. It wasn't like I called and had a plan to cry in order to get an appointment. She didn't have to be so rude. It's bad enough I have to deal with the loss of my first born daughter and other people's pregnancies, now I have to deal with rude reception desk people? I'm sorry if I'm inconveniencing you by basically asking you to do your job which is to schedule appointments. I was so upset. Needless to say I did finally manage to get an appointment and boy was she nice on the phone today. Maybe there's some hope after all.
Looking For You
5 years ago
I'm so sorry you had to deal with those people on the phone. I wish everyone could just be kind and understand. I am glad you were finally able to schedule an appointment with a nice person!
ReplyDeleteAwe it seems like they are either rude or just not helpful, I have been bounced around to three different places already. Hope you get to get in soon!
ReplyDeletei had something even worse happen- i was trying to get an appointment with the only OB who is "natural" and employs midwives in the hospital(in austin)- only to be told by this very rude receptionist that this dr would not be seeing me as a patient EVER because my baby died in the care of a homebirth midwife. this dr sits on the midwifery review board and felt i would be a conflict of interests. i was sobbing on the phone with that very rude lady, who kept telling me she understood- to which i replyed- oh really? do you have a dead baby? then no! you dont understand...
ReplyDeletei am sorry you also had to deal with jerky office staff.
yuck
I am so sorry you had to add that extra stress on top of trying to schedule an emotional/difficult appointment. It really upsets me when receptionist are rude and set the tone for the entire office, even if the nurses and physicians are nice. I am glad you were able to get an appointment after all!
ReplyDeleteLiz, wow...that is TERRIBLE that you were treated so unkindly. I can't even imagine treating people like that. I hate when people say they understand...just saying the words and not having a clue what is truly behind them. I am sorry you had a bad experience too!
It's pretty crappy to have to deal with difficult people on top of everything you feel. I'm sorry the people you dealt with were so insensitive. I mean seriously, you weren't asking them to do anything extreme - just merely their job and it's not too much to ask them to do their job in a nice manner. Hope from now on it's a little better.
ReplyDeleteahhhh, yes. The classic "it takes all kinds of people to make the world go 'round" day. I had a similar experience when trying to schedule a MFM visit. The OB's office told me to call and schedule, and the MFM told me that the would only schedule an appointment for me if the OB's office called to make the appointment. (I didn't have quite as many bitches to hurdle, though. :-) )
ReplyDeletei'm sorry about those difficulties and the rudeness. i would've started crying, too. i was getting the same circular stuff when i tried to schedule an appointment to see the RE (this was supposed to be *with* a referral) and basically gave up. then the nurse of the dr who did the referral called me back and apologized. so maybe there is hope after all? i am still waiting to hear back about an appointment. but i am so glad you were able to get yours! i'm sure it will ease the stress even a tiny bit to get some preconception testing done.
ReplyDeleteIt would have taken all I had not to tell this lady off. Oh honey...I am so sorry you were treated this way. Some people can be so insensitive. *huge hugs* Thinking of you and praying you get the appointment you need.
ReplyDelete