Well, it's official. I'm an Aunt to a healthy 6 lb. 6 oz. baby girl. After all the talk of being afraid of seeing my new niece, I completely went against everything I've said in here and I went to see my SIL and her new baby girl (and I didn't even cry)! Well... I did before and after, but not there. Remember, I'm an excellent faker. I can slap on a smile on my face with no problem. I held my niece. It was the first time I've held a baby since Alexandra. This baby cooed and moved and opened her eyes. Alexandra did none of those things. It just kind of makes me realize what I'm missing even more. I can't get over the unfairness of this all, but I am happy I was courageous enough to go and see her. I think it was important for me and my family. Anyway, here's where my quote comes into play. After we left on the way home, my husband and I saw the moon. It was bright, full, orange and huge! I have never seen the moon like that before. I think Alexandra gave me the moon to let me know everything will be okay and she's still here with me. Thanks Alexandra, I love you to the moon too!
oh Maggie, the baby weighed the same as Alyssa ;'''''''''(
ReplyDeleteI cant believe you did it, im proud of you, and still not sure if i am as courageous...i try to learn a lot from you and I am even trying today...its so hard though, especially when she opened her eyes and all that we never got to see and always think of....this post today as hit me a little harder than some..i guess because reality is setting in more and more..we wont hold the babies like that ever, maybe rainbows but certainly not them...now i know why you want to drink hard..and for me who isnt a drinker, im ALSO NEEDING A DRINK...why didnt we get the chance?? I know Alexandra gave you that strength, I have gotten it from ALyssa plenty of times and she IS with you, just not like we thought it would be a year ago...RIP Alexandra your a big cousin now momma!!!
You did good Maggie, proud of you too.
ReplyDeleteI was going to visit a friend today... she had a baby girl 10 weeks ago and up until today i just didnt have it in me to go and see her, i didnt end up going today though,and will do it next week but im crying at the thought of just holding another baby when i should be holding my baby... :-(
That is so nice that you went to see your niece. I can only imagine how hard that must have been. I probably would have cried before and after too. I have yet to hold a baby and I am not sure when I will be ready to do that. Maybe I won't till it is my own rainbow. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteWow, good for you I don't think I could do it. Little babies still really make me upset. Congrats on being and auntie, I am sure you will be a cool fun aunt when she gets older. Did you take that photo, I love it.
ReplyDeleteMaggie, I am very proud of you. I can imagine that was a hard thing to do. ((Hugs)) to you!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing!! It is so hard to hold someone elses baby. I know that wasn't easy *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you made it through meeting your niece without completely melting down. The first baby holding is really tough...I still have not done it with a newborn, and thankfully shouldn't have the 'opportunity' again until hopefully after I have my own to hold. The moon was definitely a sign from Alexandra...definitely!!
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