Please don't call me selfish. I feel selfish enough as it is.
Please don't tell me the death of my daughter wasn't your fault and that I need to "deal with it". It has taken me a long time to come to the conclusion that this was nobody's fault & I don't need to be told my daughter dying is something that is needed to be "dealt with".
Please don't make me feel guilty for not seeing pregnant people or people with newborn babies. I feel guilty enough as it is as well.
Please don't call me a bad friend.
Please don't make this about you.
Please don't say I have feelings of "resentment" towards you. I have no such feelings. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm jealous. Just let me be. Let me grieve.
Please don't call me selfish for not being able to give away hand me down clothes that were given to me as a gift to be used for Alexandra. I shouldn't have to "give up" anything for her. She should be here in my arms. The idea of giving up any of her things is heartbreaking for me. That's all I have of her.
Please don't say that your baby reminding me of what I don't have isn't your problem. I realize and know that none of this is YOUR "problem". I'm only saying the truth. Your happiness reminds me of what I could have had with Alexandra. And seeing you do all of those things is like getting stabbed in the heart. It just makes me sad. Just let me be sad.
Just please...don't.
* and yes, somebody told me all of these things today, ouch!!
Looking For You
5 years ago
Ugh. I can't believe someone said those things to you - I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
Some people are sooo rude! I do believe a bit*ch slap is in order!
ReplyDeleteOmg. Seriously? I would have FLIPPED! I am SO sorry :(
ReplyDeleteMaggie I am so sorry that you had to hear those awful words! No matter how much time passes I don't think we will ever be able to avoid such hurtful comments especially by the people that used to have so much meaning in our lives. They have no idea how broken we will always be. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteYOU KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW what I want to say already and I will not spoil my niece's blog with some choice words...what I will say is !@#$%^&*()_@#$%^&*(@#$%^&*(@#$%^&* about her and her "baby" If someone really needs "hand me downs" then GO TO THE SALVATION ARMY AND GET IT THERE...THIS IS MY NIECE'S STUFF NOT FOR WHOEVER MADE THE CUT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo on that note...Maggie, if you dont want to give it to her DONT...and if she has a problem with that PLEASE give her my number as this week has been officially lable FFW for a reason....for those of you who are having family drama as well this stands for F*ck Family Week....it is dedicated to ALL the people blood or not that chooses to add stress to our grieving process....
I love you Maggie, I love you like my OWN family.
ERRRRGGGH!! I am so sorry she said all of that to you! Did you say all these things to her? You have every right to ask for these things you need. It is so cruel that life forces us to deal with such people and circumstances. (((((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry someone said those things to you!!! It's not right!!!
ReplyDeleteOuch! So sorry hon. I know when people said these things to me, I stopped calling them, stopped hanging around them. Friendships went the wayside. Even now, I'm not sure I forgive them all.
ReplyDelete*hugs* You're doing great hon. Your remembrance of your daughter is so beautiful.
Ay! I'm so sorry someone is speaking to you like that. Nasty. Sad that someone can have that little compassion. xxxh
ReplyDeleteShe has no right to say those things to you. She has her baby you don't. She has no idea what you are going through. She needs to just get over herself. You do what you need to do. If you don't feel like you can give her those clothes then don't! I would like to say some choice words, but I won't just know I am here for you if you need me!!!
ReplyDeleteI can not believe somebody said ANY of these things to you... Seriously some people just can not say anything nice...((HUGS)) Maggie!
ReplyDeletewww.thisadventureourlife.com
OMG, I would kill her!!!!
ReplyDeleteMany hugs, Maggie, I am thinking of you..
Wow....you are brave for holding back. I would have gone up one side of this person and down the other. *huge hugs* I am so sorry you had to deal with such an ass!!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I'm so sorry, lovey! Is this person a close friend of yours? If she is than I would probably re-evaluate a continuance of friendship because a friend would never attack you in such a way...
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) Pissed for you, too...
I am so sorry someone said this to you. People nwill never know unless they have gone through this. (((hugs))) I'm sorry
ReplyDeleteAll those nasty things in one day? That's class. Oh hon, you deserve a break :)
ReplyDeleteYou should not be expected to give away your Alexandra's precious items. They are very important and you are entitled to them. It is an unfortunate truth that on top of grieving our children people feel the need to express their opinions about it. I wish they would leave us to our grieving, whether they understand it or not. Many *hugs*
ReplyDeleteJust like a dagger to the heart, hearing those words com eout of someone you *thought* was a friend...I learned a lot about friendships over the course of the last year since my daughter's death..people I thought would be there to help me, were not. Then there have been some people I wouldn't expect to care about me, who still ask me how I am doing, or recognize when a new baby and mom enter the room, how my posture changes..and then comes and gives me a hug..no words, just a hug. These blogs have really helped me feel so not all alone, and although I wish none of us met through these circumstances, I am glad we have one another for support.
ReplyDelete