Somewhere

It's hard to imagine what my days would be like. Somewhere in a parallel universe, if those exist, I'm getting Alexandra ready for daycare every day, rushing home after work to see her since I missed her so much. I come home, scoop her up along with my three cats and hug them all. Our family is so happy. I take her to get her pictures done every month. I'm closer to my sister-in-law because we're both Moms now. The new cousins spend so much time together, they are sure to grow up being best friends just like their Moms. Everything is perfect. Everyone is happy. Our family is so close because of our new daughter. The days are so much fun watching her every day because each day is different. My husband and I cannot believe how fast she's growing and it's hard to believe she is ours. Somewhere I'm the happiest girl alive. Somewhere, I don't know what heartache is and what a broken heart feels like. Somewhere, I have no clue that babies do die and sometimes they have to be buried. Somewhere, I am oblivious to terms like, "stillbirth", "autopsy", and "fetal demise". Pregnant women make me happy and giddy and I ask them how far along they are and brag about my newborn baby. I have no feelings of bitterness or jealousy. I have no anger. I am me. But that somewhere isn't real. The thing that is real is Alexandra is out there somewhere... and she's thinking of me. And in the end, I guess that's all that really matters. I was thinking of this song today and it's one of those songs that just makes it all feel... better.

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through

Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true