Rest in peace little one

I went to visit Alexandra yesterday and her marker has been put in place. There's something so final about it. It's as if it makes this whoe thing that much more real. Her name is written in stone along with the date of her birth and death. It was hard to believe that we were looking down at our daughter's grave marker. It's unnatural and very wrong. Shouldn't the roles have been reversed? Nothing about this is right. I should not have been standing in a cemetary's 'babyland'. There shouldn't have to be a special place that is reserved only for babies. I should not be visiting my own daughter's grave. I should not have had to pick out a marker for her grave. I should not have had to bury my first child. It makes me sad and it makes me even angrier the more I think about how very wrong it all is.

I was comforted by one thing though, despite everything. Next to her grave was a new grave. I remember back in January or February, my husband went to visit and he had mentioned another grave had been put in next to hers. When we got there last night, the marker for that grave was also newly laid down and this baby was born the day before Alexandra. He lived for only three short months. I think his name was Connor. I smiled when I realized she had a friend right next to her who was the very same age. At the same time, it also makes me want to reach out to this family and comfort them too. I wish I could let them know they aren't alone. There's someone else who sympathizes with them so very much and their son has a really good friend named, Alexandra. Rest in peace my little darling. Your final resting place is finally complete. I promise we'll take good care of it.