Let's get started

I've decided I am going to answer your questions once a day until I reach 100. This weekend I am going to go and get the prize for my giveaway. I have a pretty good idea on what I would like it to be, so I hope whomever wins likes it! So here is the first question I will answer: What made you start blogging about Alexandra and grief?

One of the first things I did after Alexandra died was read and look for any kind of information about why this could happen. What caused it, what was the reason, how many times had this happened to others, whatever. I needed information. I read all sorts of books on stillbirth and grief. Then when I was finished with those, I turned to the Internet.  One thing I still had were my updates on Babycenter. I remembered signing up back in July or somewhere close to then when I was about five months pregnant. My friend had encouraged me to sign up because it was fun to receive weekly updates and look at the site. I will admit that I actually looked forward to that little update every week. I couldn't wait to see how Alexandra was growing, what she could do, what was happening to me, all that stuff. I was never active on the message boards then, but I did see everyone's posts. I mean, who wants to hear a bunch of pregnant women complain about all their crap? Please! The only time I really bothered to look at them was if I was experiencing something and I wanted to make sure whatever it was I had was normal. But I never ever looked at the miscarriage/grief/loss boards. Too scary. If I looked at one, that would somehow jinx me. Well, I never did and look where we are.  Silly. So getting back to how I got to this blog...after Alexandra died, I wanted those stupid updates gone. Then that's when I found the grief/loss boards. I figured there was no reason not to look now and maybe it would help. And it did.  It was then that I met so many other women who had been going through the same exact thing. They knew my feelings and understood me. I felt comforted by their comments. Then I started to see some links on their comments which led to their blogs and boom, that was it. I stayed up for hours reading these sad stories of other mommies who had lost their baby (or babies) and suddenly I wasn't alone. I saw how having a blog was somewhat of a support mechanism for many people. People cared. People understood. People listened and never judged. Some of your blogs I follow were the very first ones I read and they made me realize I could have one too! I had my doubts of putting all my thoughts and feelings out on the Internet for the world to see, but I got over it and dove into the blog world! And I am so very glad I did. It has helped and I've met so many wonderful ladies, like yourselves! I care about each and every one of you and truly believe all our babies are friends.  My blog has helped me in so many ways and every day I know I can come here and feel less alone. People just "get it" here and I love that.